I am embarrassed! I am ashamed!

I am embarrassed! I am ashamed!

I am embarrassed! I am ashamed!
Recently I was in the Anglican Op shop in Crows Nest (QLD) seeking a specific item that was unobtainable as new in any of the various retail stores that I visited. Every visit was met with helpful advice as to where I could try. But that is not the source of my embarrassment, not the source of my shame. That comes from the chance encounter I had in the Op shop.
Let me explain. I am now in my 80’s having first arrived in Crows Nest, Queensland in the mid 1970’s, over 40 years ago, and I have been in and out of the town many times since engaging in activities and business enterprises to make a living and serve the community with varying degrees of success and/or failure. As you can imagine I have met many of the town’s residents and supporters in that time, transitory acquaintances but rarely, because of my nature, friends. Never giving of myself to that extent. Never really questioning my inability to do that, until yesterday!
A middle-aged handsome lady greeted me by name, asking how I was! I was too embarrassed, too ashamed to admit that I had no recall, no memory of her. But even more shaming is that I did not, no, could not, admit to my bad memory! It did however initiate a questioning of my self-indulgent pride, my failure to share and give of myself.
For the best part of those 40 plus years I have prided myself with the thoughts that my endeavours had been motivated by my wish to serve. But has it been simply self-preservation?
I have always been met with the grace and giving of a friendly community, uncensored, unreserved. I realise that without the support of such I am the poorer. May I have the grace to admit that I, in common with each one of you, I do NEED people! Thank you for being a part of my life and making me who I am!
Cyril Davies

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